distopia

I haven't been very active on here lately, it seems alot of people have lost interest in DeviantArt. I think I like the updated look, or maybe I just like it because its different. Regardless, its a welcomed change. I've joined the ranks of MySpace junkies like so many others. www.myspace.com/liliesandpan.

This morning I had alot of time to kill and I've had (and still have to) be very very quiet so I looked over every single deviation I've made in DA, and I checked out my friend's pages and things I've faved... and even though this site is pretty much dead nowadays and I've lost contact with most of the friends I made on here I still have nothing but good feelings about DA and I've decided to make a scrap book about it. A scrap book about a website?? Sarah, you dork. But yes, it will include deviations of mine, my friends, and others that inspired me. So yeah.

I'm past feeling stir crazy, I'm now relaxing. I have job #2 lined up for when I graduate. I wrote the Gallup Organization asking if they had internships available in Dallas, and they said no, but we got to talking anyways and the lady said she wanted to have me full time and I should call her in January. Alrighty. The other job I have lined up is teaching at a community college. Both jobs will be available to me at the same time, but pay decently... but i'm much more interested in the Gallup Organization. It sounds more exciting to me, combining my love of politics with psychology. So yeah I've been just lazing around, reading, writing, playing video games (Harvest Moon: Musical Melody and City of Heroes), watching alot of anime (Bottle Fairies- which is super super cute!!, Sakura Diaries, Girls Bravo, and A Little Snow Fairy Sugar), swimming, and as of very recently started painting- very poorly mind you.

I hope everyone is having a nice summer!

My mom's been having me take pictures of politicians for up coming elections.

Heard the music of HIM? if not you can listen for free on their website www.heartagram.com/. But don't, they're not that good. The trouble is, sometime around October I noticed alot of bands I liked really had a thing for HIM, so I went to their website, thought they were shit- but accidentally fell asleep listening to them. On their website they loop the music, so it wont end unless you deliberately turn it off. So I listened to it in my sleep for hours and hours, the same 3 songs. And when I woke up I still didn't like it, but now some months later I find that this crap has grown on me. Right now I'm at their website again listening and dare I say I'm enjoying it? I wouldn't go that far, but why am I listening? They have a show coming up soon in Dallas and I even looked to see how much their tickets are. WTF?? They're moody like Tool but without any of the meaningful lyrics. Scandanavian hypnosis is what it is. Enough on that.

So tonight, actually yesterday, was my birthday. May 2nd that is. I'm 23 which fucking blows. A third of my life or so is over. I wont be getting it back, at least I haven't figured a way to yet. I don't want to be younger I just don't want to get older damnit. I want to just stay this age for all time and never die until I decide that I want to. But no one asked me what I want, so poo on that.

Chris and I went to the psychology honors society movie night tonight. I love those. We watch a movie when its through we analyze it. Chris had never been before but he fit in just nicely. I like the people who go, and I adore the professor who runs it although part of me secretly worries that I become too chatty and over excited, like I am right now, and I always worry that I talk too much, too little, or say the wrong things or say the right things in the wrong way and I don't think any of those things are true, except I do get too chatty maybe, but fuck it ya know? If I can't be who I naturally am then what's the point of being there at all? And if they don't like me being chatty then they just don't like me- but fortunately no one has treated me like that and I have no reason to think they feel that way. But you know how these things go. Insecurity=unnecessary worry. Mark Twain had some quote about how no one thinks about you as much as you think they do, but I can't remember how exactly he worded it it but it was pretty cute n' clever. So blah blah blah. I can't believe this is only my 14th journal entry in here all year. Yeah so there's alot that's happened that's gone unsaid, mostly concerning my job. I had a job that on paper was wonderful, in actuality was utter hell, and I quit and this Friday is my last day. Which will make for a much happier me, because as Sara could agree, that job was making me completely miserable. Although I will need to find another way of making money, but- oh I gotta go proof read something for Chris. Laterz!!